Wednesday, October 6, 2010

If You Really Knew Me

Have you seen this show on MTV? If You Really Knew Me is where the school has what they call a Challenge Day.

So now you need to know what a Challenge Day is...

Challenge Day's mission is to provide youth and their communities with experiential workshops and programs that demonstrate the possibility of love and connection through the celebration of diversity, truth and full expression. - Challenge Day website
Every time I watch this I end up crying. I can feel these kids emotions. Their pain and their desire to really feel as if they have a place in this world. A lot of them have been rejected by their peers for being different and sometimes they've been rejected by their families. You know high school has a lot of drama, and a terrible history of cliques - jocks, nerds, popular, poor, mean kids...I could go on and on.

I have such pain in my heart for them. I had a good childhood. I had parents who loved me. Grandparents who were always there. I had friends. I thought at the time they were lifelong friends but as life went on and we grew up naturally we drifted. Different interests and stuff.

I was thinking to myself just how would I have reacted to having to bare my soul to students who I didn't feel a connection with. I don't know how I would have handled it then.

Anyways, I decided to do my own kind of If You Really Knew Me. Here's some random facts you may or may not know about me.


If You Really Knew Me You'd Know....

*I've never felt like I'm good enough. I always think I need to be better or different in some way.

*I don't like the way I look. Even though I joke that I'm curvy, not fat. I still compare myself to what I use to look like. Which back then I didn't think I was all that either...so imagine how it feels now.

*Sometimes I don't think I'm a good mom at all. I worry that I lose my temper too quickly or that I pay attention to one more than the other. I want to be that perfect mom. The one that has everything together and never feels out of place at a PTO meeting.

*I don't take chances. I'm scared of failing and looking like a fool.

*I always thought my life would somewhat resemble this post - Thirtysomething. Which when I read it I laughed so hard thinking I totally know what you mean! I want people too.

*I know God doesn't make mistakes, but wonder if I'll ever get to the point where I'll feel in my heart I am what He wants me to be.


So now that I've given my embarrassing, whiny thoughts. Are you brave enough to do it too? If you do leave me a comment letting me know. So I can get to really know you. {hugs}